The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Is Pointless

Alllllllll righty then! As Ace Ventura would say. Greeting boils and gools, as the Cryptkeeper would say. On today’s episode of Analyses I will be discussing why the Star Wars sequel trilogy is utterly pointless and was a waste of money and the fans’ time. Let’s begin.

Man oh man, ok where to begin. 30 years after the fall of the Empire we have a new protagonist and her name is Rey. Oh, wait a minute she’s the protagonist? Could have fooled me. I thought it might’ve been Poe Dameron or the Stormtrooper who became Finn. Who is it? It’s Rey. The character who goes through no struggle AT ALL throughout the trilogy. She’s a Force-sensitive being who hardly needed any training from Luke Skywalker at all because she mastered so many abilities in such a short span. The reason for this? Kathleen Kennedy’s “the Force is female” crap. That’s basically the only reason why she exists. She’s a terribly written character. She basically becomes a master. I get that females can do it too but she didn’t go through any struggle to experience growth. She is not a sympathetic character by any means. I’d rather watch a Jar Jar spinoff than anything with her to be honest. Remember, it’s the character, not the actress. I got nothing against Daisy Ridley. but some people can’t distinguish the difference. Rey has Force lightning and Force healing, not to mention levitation, persuasion, and mind reading. How OP are you supposed to be? Did Luke really teach her any of that because it didn’t seem like he taught her a single thing except that the Jedi were blinded by their pride. She never took a single loss in the entire trilogy. She barely struggled against Palpatine after she told him she was all the Jedi. Barf. GTFO with that. What was the actual purpose of Rey? Really? Was she supposed to be the Chosen One according to the prophecy because she brought Palpatine down? And why was she Palpatine’s granddaughter of all things? They seriously made this up as they went along, I kid you not. If they had shown her training a little more for a little longer it would have been more believable.

These movies had no plot whatsoever and were so idea-bankrupt that “somehow Palpatine returned”. That’s who they decided to go with as the villain again because they couldn’t do anything with Snoke I suppose. He’s simply a creation by Palpatine. It is plain and evident that Lucasfilm should not have attempted to make more Star Wars movies. Let’s talk about a newly introduced character who is also actually quite pointless- Kylo Ren. He is supposed to be the replacement Vader for this trilogy. He’s the actual grandson and he’s got a mask with an all black outfit. He is also a brat. If he was supposed to be portrayed as menacing and intimidating, it only worked in the beginning when he stopped a gun blast with the Force and tortured Dameron. He does not hold even the wax of a candle to Vader. Is he intentionally supposed to be a joke like General Hux? Barf. He’s even called a child in a mask by Snoke if I remember correctly. The 3 times that Kylo and Rey were involved in conflict, Rey came out on top. Ren lost to a novice 3 for 3. The new villain of the trilogy become bantha fodder, as Sebulba would put it. I mean he was trained by Luke himself, for Jedi’s sake, the supposedly most powerful Jedi ever in Star Wars but clearly that route was not taken.

Let’s talk about the Resistance. The new Rebellion. The sequel trilogy is just a recycled original trilogy because they couldn’t think of anything else. This is also very obvious with The Last Jedi and Return of the Jedi when Snoke is taunting Rey that she can’t save her friends but then Kylo kills Snoke like a fool. A con about this trilogy is its forced humor. There’s lots of it, oh yeah as Kool-Aid Man would say. Two stupid scenes are Luke’s disrespectful throw of his Lightsaber behind his back and then him drinking blue milk. Like, what the actual f***? Criticize the prequels all you want, but those scenes were just plain ludicrous. This trilogy is too militaristic and that’s all it is. All 3 films basically focus on the Resistance trying to take down The First Order. It’s not fantasy-sci fi like the originals and while the prequels were politically heavy with emphasis on the Jedi Council, the Senate, and Coruscant, they at least introduced many new worlds and showed what life was like on many of those worlds. The sequel trilogy’s new trio are nowhere near as endearing as Luke, Han, and Leia. Neither of them have personalities that we love. Dameron doesn’t compare to Han by any mile, inch or millimeter. Rey is no Luke as we all already know. Another con found here is the on-the-nose activism in The Last Jedi. You know the scene I’m talking about? Think about Canto Bight and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

So, how did Palpatine return? Because the dark side is a pathway to many abilities that some would consider to be unnatural? OK. Shrug. Lazy-ass explanation if you ask me. The end of Return of Jedi and the Skywalker Saga feel undone because of it. Hey, money talks right and what the hell is a Force dyad? They just shit that of their asses for convenience? Palps just happens to have Ren and Rey there together of whom both make a Force dyad (whatever the hell that means) and it enables him to take their Life Force and then shoot absurdly gigantic shots of lightning at hundreds of ships? Bullllllllshit. But you know what’s bigger bullshit? Rey beat someone who was 10x more powerful than she was because she’s “ALL THE JEDI”. As Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park would say, that is a huge pile of shit. He was beaten waaaayyy too easily and why? So a female could have the last word. I cringe because Kennedy’s agenda is very obvious here.

As a final word, I’d like to point some strengths before stating my final opinion. The Battle of Crait is pretty cool akin to the Battle of Hoth and the Kylo and Han scenes are strong- they tug at your heartstrings. That being said, this is not a rewatchable trilogy. It literally is pointless because it’s recycling at its finest, lazy, creatively bankrupt, and no one’s favourite characters are from it. Who they gonna pick? Babu Frik? Maz Kanata? Holdo? Phasma? I don’t think so. Jar Jar over them any day. While they may not be terrible films by themselves, they stained the Star Wars brand and are mediocre by SW standards but they did not kill SW. Star Wars seems to be in an odd place right now with ups and downs not unlike the MCU but hopefully it will pick up steam again although I don’t know how because it doesn’t have much source material to work from since Disney decanonized much of the expanded universe established through the novels. I hope that Hollywood learns its lesson one day to not continue stories that end naturally and on great notes like the Harry Potter and Matrix films. Why add more when closure has already been given? No one would dare do that to LOTR right? They fucking better never do that. That being said folks, this concludes our broadcast day. Have a very merry unbirthday.